And you’re opinion matters, because???…

And you’re opinion matters, because???…

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I’m going to be completely transparent here in recounting something that happened to me just recently.  I’ll take off my shield and give you a peek at a less than ideal moment my life in hopes that it will serve a greater purpose for you.

I was recently with family and friends at a gathering.  Someone close to me thought it was “funny” to ridicule me and my work.  He even went so far as to gather people around, pull out his laptop, pull up my website and began teasing me about what I do, my methodologies, and my marketing practices.  Now, I’m as tough as the next person, can take a joke and a razzing (you HAVE to be able to in my family – it’s a tough crowd LOL).  But he took it to a nasty level, even taunting me and encouraging others to join in the “fun”.  Keep in mind he knows nothing about my business and has never experienced firsthand the methodologies and practices I teach.

My first reaction was to be irritated and my quills went up.  About 30 seconds later, I just walked away.  As he got louder, I suppose because he feared I was out of earshot to hear his cajoling, I ignored him completely and took to playing with my gorgeous and precocious 2-yr old nephew.  If you know me, you might ask why I didn’t not only tell him where to shove his comments but even sock him in the eye.  (I used to box  six days a week and being half Sicilian, half Lebanese, it’s a pretty mean combo when I’m ticked off.)  But, honestly, I was completely removed from it, didn’t even let it affect me.

The only voice I truly heard over the mean commentary was that of my Honey (aka Scott).  I heard him not defending me (he knows I don’t really need that) but instead speaking highly of what I do.  He went on and on about my coaching clients and the results they get from participating in my programs.  He spoke of the miracles he saw as an outside observer of my work with women entrepreneurs.  He even told of the outstanding – and often unexpected – results anyone can have from working with a powerful Coach.  He gave examples (not that he knows them by name, since I don’t breach client confidentiality) of my coaching clients who’ve accomplished way more than they ever thought possible from being in my programs.  He must have gone on for more than fifteen minutes, finishing up by saying that everyone at the table would benefit profoundly from my coaching if they would commit to being coachable and truly following my step by step programs to the letter and that the results would speak for themselves.  (Needless to say, he gets a lot of “free” coaching at home – at his request – so he knows firsthand :-))  He basically told them to “put up or shut up”!!

A little later, that same person close to me who started the “game” came over and asked if I was feeling “sensitive” – I imagine because I didn’t do what I used to do, which was react.  I calmly answered him by saying “I am not at all sensitive.  I am simply confident in what I do and the value I provide to people who work with me.  I have nothing to defend or explain to you or anyone else here.”  I smiled and went on playing with my nephew.

From this experience came three important reminders:

  1. Never let the “naysayers” bring you down to their level. I remind you of the story of the crab in the pot of boiling water.  When the others feel threatened in some way by the crab making its way out of the boiling water, the others will try to drag her down into the pot of boiling mess with them.   They may do it to “spare you future pain” or to “keep you in your place” or to make sure you don’t “leave them behind”. Whatever the reason, it’s still their efforts to hold you back.  Unfortunately, as in my recent experience, it might come from those closest to you for whatever motive and can even blindside you for just that reason.  Hear me when I say: other people’s opinions of you are none of your business!!
  2. Never defend yourself.  Stand in who you are. When you know who you are, there is nothing to defend.  Would you ever spend much time arguing that you are NOT A ZEBRA?  Of course not.  It would be ludicrous and a waste of your time.  You have no stripes.  You stand on two legs, not four.  You have no tail.  You get my point. Be confident and certain of who you are and how extraordinary you are.
  3. Never forget who your Champions are. It’s so important to have a Champion in your corner.  This shouldn’t be someone who blindly thinks you do no wrong.  (I have my mother for that – well mostly LOL)  It should however, be someone who believes in you, who knows who you are to the core and knows what you stand for in your business, what you’re up to in your life.  This might be your Coach, your Partner, your Spouse.  Allow their listening to shine when you forget or feel like you’re having a less than supreme moment.

Do not ever let anyone steal your power or your greatness!

Remember, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”  Read the entire poem by Marianne Williamson here


  • Michaela says:

    It makes you wonder why he even went so far as to talk about your methodologies and knew where to find you and more. Sounds like he’s crazy jealous and wishes he could be doing what you’re doing. And it now sounds like your confidence in what you do is unshakeable. Maybe that was the whole point, maybe he was put there to put you to the test. Sounds like you passed. Awesome!

  • aprille says:

    Thanks for reframing that for me!! I knew it wasn’t personal but was instead “his stuff” to deal with but I hadn’t looked at the gift it was for me. You are indeed correct that I have a fire for what I do and nothing can shake that. I appreciate you showing me that!

  • Liz says:

    Your article really resonated with me, with the awareness I have of the people who are close to me, and yet let their fears cloud their celebrations of my entrepreneurship. I have had to place distance between myself and them, and to focus on filling my tribe with people who “get” me and who are interested in helping me succeed.

  • Aprille says:

    OMG yes Liz. It’s so very critical to have people who “get” what you’re up to in the world. Those closest to us like to “save us” with all the love they have for us and don’t realize how much it can hold us back. It takes an extra dose of courage and strength to go against that grain and do it anyway…being ourselves in a way they may not relate to yet.

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