Busting the “Balance” Myths Once and For All (Part I)

Busting the “Balance” Myths Once and For All (Part I)

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So it’s already March and you’ve begun to feel so far removed from those Resolutions you made in January.  You know, the ones that were filled with so much promise and you really really really meant them?  But now, with the hustle bustle of life and business back in full swing, they’re long gone.  Well hang on, I have news for you if you’re looking to “balance” out life so you can get to the more exciting and juicy parts of your life!

I believe with every part of my being that as a woman, you can accomplish everything you set your sights on achieving.  A thriving business, a healthy, loving family, great relationships – whatever you want.  I also believe it takes something, day by day, to make it a reality.  There are some myths we have to break down, however, in order to understand just how to do that. 

>> Myth #1:  You can find “balance” if you work at it or do it “right”.<<
Balance my apple bottom…jeans!  Simply put, there is no such thing as balance in human existence.  Balance exists in the Universe, in nature – but those things have been created by a power much, much more potent than you and me.  In human beings, there is no realistic way to consistently have balance.  To expect that is setting ourselves up for imminent failure. 

Truth:  You can find equilibrium.

Consider that balance in every area would have our lives be static.  Imagine an old fashioned scale with the dish on each side.  If it’s in complete balance and we’ve done an ideal job of getting just the right amount of counterbalance on each side, it doesn’t swing or sway.  Nearly impossible to sustain.

Equilibrium, on the other hand is realistic and attainable.  Equilibrium can be defined as a state of adjustment between opposing or conflicting influences.  You have opposing or conflicting influences all day long.  Take an early morning meeting or take the kids to school?  Meet that client deadline or meet your mother for lunch?  Work late and get a jumpstart on tomorrow’s schedule or work on an impromptu romantic dinner for you and your Honey?  Exercise your managerial expertise for an extra hour or exercise your body and spirit?  Conflicting influences.  All day long.

Doesn’t “trying” to balance life and work make you feel anxious (“Am I doing it right?”), nervous (“Can I do it?”), guilty (“Is everyone getting what they need in just the right amounts?”) and worn out (“What’s the point?”).  Remedy:  Stop seeking that elusive balance and start putting your efforts into handling the constant ebb and flow of equilibrium in the best way possible,

When you realize that you’ll never have life and work in perfect balance, you’ll release those unworkable expectations you have of yourself.  When you allow for the flux of rhythm in your life and work, you’ll relieve much of the stress, pressure, guilt you feel about whether you’re doing enough or giving enough. 

>>Myth #2: You can perform “time management” to be productive.<<
Really?  I’d like to see the pictograms for that.  That’s like saying you can manage air.  Time – and it’s passing – is beyond our control.  What’s to manage? You get 24 hours – not one second more, nor one second less.  It’s the same 24 hours that Mother Theresa, DaVinci, Einstein, Amelia Earhart and every person of great accomplishment has had since we first began measuring time. 

Truth:  You can manage priorities.

Given that you only get those same 24 hours in each and every day and given that you cannot change how they pass, it’s critical that you become conscious of what you CAN manage to make the greatest use of every hour of every day that you get to spend.  Don’t forget that you really do get to choose how to spend each second of your life.  The most effective and impactful way to use them is to do what matters most in your life.  This is how ordinary people have accomplished extraordinary things!

To powerfully manage how you use your time, begin by determining what your priorities are in your life and your business. This is where your heart meets the realities of your world.  Even your “obligations” are based on where your heart feels you need to be.  You actually determine your “obligations” by what you define as fundamental to living within your value system.  You wouldn’t feel “obligated” to your business if you didn’t value accomplishment or financial security or work ethic.  You wouldn’t feel “obligated” to your children if you didn’t value family or nurturing or love. 

Start looking at what you value in life.  When you create your schedule according to the priority of your values, (as opposed to circumstances and emergencies) choosing which things to do when comes easily and naturally.  Choosing how much time to spend on each project or task becomes obvious.  If you value “family”, make sure your family comes first in your schedule.  If you value “independence”, make sure you put in time to be alone or with friends.  If you value “health” or “fitness”, make sure you allow for time to make healthy meals or get to the gym regularly.


Stay Tuned  & Check Back for SIMPLE STEPS you can take each day to remedy this “balance” challenge!

In the meantime, if you’d like to get started on balancing your personal and professional life and having the life of your dreams, apply here to have a complimentary Discovery Session with me.  It’s my gift to you!

5 Comments

  • Chen Yen says:

    So true, Aprille.  I don’t think there’s such thing as true balance…life is about flow. I love how you’ve reframed it for us, so we don’t feel so overwhelmed.  Look forward to reading Part II!

  • aprille says:

    Isn’t it though Chen? When we take out the resistance of “trying” so hard, our energy soars. Then, when we work on the flow of our priorities in life and in work, we get so much more done – with a lot less stress and effort on our part! Part II is coming in just a few days :)

  • Isn’t it though Chen? When we take out the resistance of “trying” so
    hard, our energy soars. Then, when we work on the flow of our priorities
    in life and in work, we get so much more done – with a lot less stress
    and effort on our part! Part II is coming in just a few days

  • Aprille, Enjoyed reading the article!  I think your comment about balance also relates to
    perfectionism.  When we seek to be perfect, we feel out of balance. 
    Establishing your values as you suggested, helps us feel OK with the
    imperfections that are inevitable in life.  Can we be happy even if some
    things that happened today or this week were less than perfect?

  • Great insight David! Perfect is overrated (says the “recovering Perfectionist” LOL). Living inside our values, we can feel confident that even if it isn’t perfect, it’s the “right” thing to do, the “right” place to be, the “right” thing to focus on and so forth. It fulfills us even though it doesn’t look perfectly balanced from the outside.

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